I think I have accepted the fact that outings are more complicated that I have two tag-a-longs, a husband and an unpredictable toddler who can give you big laugh and frowns at the same time. The husband likes to be accompanied, even for a short grocery trip, and the toddler always loves attention and chats. Do not get me wrong, I am more than grateful now, but sometimes, when I reflect back on the recent happenings, I’d be aware of how much I’ve taken things for granted before – the ease of life before I got married. At least it changes the perspective of lazy evenings, as if I have such things nowadays.
My vivid memory of myself in single life was locking myself in the room with fiction books and Internet. It’s either reading or surfing. I even had an online diary which I kept my stuff and stories. It’s like a summary of every memory I had with every person around me. But the unfortunate happened. The laptop crashed, and I kind of lost everything in it. I was dumbfounded. Fatigue, but okay. Then I realised how something meant a lot to you can be snuffed up in a split second. It’s the rule of life you can’t reckon.
Last few days, I had an unusual encounter with someone. I’ll spare the details, but I was really speechless at that particular moment. I showed the text conversation to the husband, and we both shook our heads in disbelief. If only people realise that life is short, then they would have no time to argue and hurt people, my husband said. He told me to keep positive thoughts about people who hurt me. At least, remember good memories about those people, how nice they were and how good the relationships were. The fact that Cardiff has changed my husband into a more calm person, is something I will forever be grateful for. I know deep inside, whenever people hurt me, he’ll bleed inside.
I took twice as long as I exhale, put down the phone, and get up. Azim smiled at me and cracked some jokes, and we both moved to make dinner. As much as fatigued I was with the whole situation, I pray that Allah will ease everything for both of us and the people at the other side. Money comes and goes, but manners differentiate the present you to who you were yesterday.
There are always rooms for discussion. But if you choose not to, then maybe you should move on without hurting anyone. Especially those who had been giving their time for you when they themselves had little.